I've Got This!

If I could open up my chest and unlock my heart, I'm sure you'd see Fall spilling out of it. The crisp air, beautiful colors, leaves tumbling, children laughing, coffee spiked with pumpkin and spice...ahhh. Fall is just so cozy and calming for me. The difficult thing for me is not napping the day away! I'll sit and snuggle my coffee cup while reading my Bible, then skip around some blogs enjoying all the fun ideas and crafts. I live vicariously through the bakers and crafters at this time of year. Some of these bloggers are just extremely gifted! I'd honestly NEVER be able to come up with some of this stuff. The CUTEST cupcakes and cookies you're ever gonna see, the loveliest tablescapes, the most beautiful homes and decor...


So much to look at, it's hard to settle down and just look through and enjoy one at a time! I make sure to follow or subscribe to all of them so I can take the time later to go back and enjoy them. Someday, I hope to have more time to devote to my own blog. I'd like to run an etsy shop (what I'd sell, I don't know) or offer an abundance of ideas (? nutrition, oh wait, I already do that on my other blog) or something useful. Honestly, it's probably never gonna happen. I'm too much of a flake (and I hate that) to keep up with an intricate blog!! So this is probably all you're ever gonna get outta me. Just ramblings...I have had the hardest time focusing lately! It's horrible. Can hardly finish a thought...oops. SEE?? I was about to get lost again. Anyway, I love fall and that was the point I was trying to make.


I think the TV is eviilll. No, I'm serious. We sit and stare at it for hours and neglect our family activities. Never turning this thing off is driving a wedge between us. I HATE IT. I've talked to my husband about it. He agrees, but doesn't seem to want to do anything about it. It has been on allllllllllll day. I was bothered by my daughter when she needed help with her homework-why? I wasn't busy, I was just interested in what was on TV. My children shouldn't have to compete with the TV!!! Especially when they need help! God, forgive me:(( Help me!! You're never to busy to hear my needs, Lord. Sadly, I wasn't only watching TV, I was surfing the internet on my laptop! God, I seriously need to adjust the way I'm spending my time. Thanks for convicting me of this at this moment. I need to fix it. I know what to do, as You've already been telling me. Time for a serious step back from technology. A step in the right direction, closer to You and my family. Seriously! Why in the world don't I seek to stop this damaging behavior?? I've got to get this right and now. This is what I'd consider to be the "bread of idleness." And I'm stuffed beyond being uncomfortable. I'm choking on it. 


See what I mean about rambling??? Anyway, I hope to report to you in a few days or maybe even a week, that we've watched a lot less TV. Maybe I'll challenge myself to step back from Facebook for a full week. Sounds so silly, but it's the only connection I've had to people for the last 2 months:( Oh well, I need to seek only God in this time. Maybe, just maybe He wants to tell me something VERY important and I haven't been listening??? Thanks, Lord for making me aware. I'm listening now! What is it?

Go check out my first post on our homeschooling blog, please! :)) I'm still trying to figure out all this blogging stuff, so be patient with me, please. I just knew that I wanted a place separate from my own personal 'journal entries' on this blog to share what kinds of things we're doing over here at "sprouting oaks homeschool." Thanks for following me and God Bless you!

    I'm sitting here at 12:30 a.m. chuckling to myself. All these great dreams and aspirations I had of becoming this SUPER-BLOGGER.....why do I get so silly? My motto lately has become some form or "I don't serve____, it serves me!" You fill in the blank with whatever it is that you don't want to serve, as in, become a servant of, or slave to. For example, going to the gym serves ME. I tend to have a touch of OCD with some things. So, if I have a list with check boxes and I can't check off every single box by actually accomplishing (to the "t") what needs to be checked off the list, I get fussy. I start doubting my abilities and commitment. I start getting very critical of myself. "Well, if So and So had this list to complete, SHE'D have no problem with whatever it is. So what's wrong with ME?" I HATE that I compare myself!! It's as if I have no ability to measure myself against my old self, recognizing and celebrating my true accomplishments. Or better yet, how about just NOT comparing and measuring? Rather, I compulsively look for an ideal. I search sub-consciously for who I need to model myself after and only after I've fallen short do I realize what I've done. Yet again.
    And so this explains my recent depression surrounding my lack of "commitment" to blogging. And guess what? God is so good. He is helping me with this struggle of comparison. I'm not quite sure how He's doing it, but I am beginning to feel a small bit of release:) The mere fact that I'm recognizing it at this moment tells me I'm changing. The fact that I can laugh and not cry about it is an accomplishment in itself! I'm soo SILLY! I am a happy, happy girl. I am blessed BEYOND measure and feel so completely surrounded by God's grace in my day-to-day life. Why does it matter to me that I "measure up?"
    Ya know what? Right now as I am typing this God is showing me "PRIDE, PRIDE, PRIDE." Whoa. Right this moment He is showing me that my ultimate under-lying motive is not to actually measure up, but to be BETTER THAN EVERYONE WHO IS WORTHY OF COMPARISON. Good gravy. I'm gonna have to chew on this awhile. Anyone have a grain (or barrel) of SALT? And maybe a few gallons of coffee to wash it down?