Saturday, January 22, 2011
Turn That Frown...
6:34 PM | Posted by
Talisha |
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God is good. He works on behalf of those who love and seek after Him. He makes all things work together for good for those who love and seek Him. He never gives us more than we can handle. He promises to walk beside us in the valleys. He listens and works things out. He does. I know. I know because I love Him. I trust Him. There's a lot of NOT FUN stuff going on in my life right now, VALLEY stuff. But I trust Him. I love Him. I tell Him all day long, every day how much He means to me. How He has changed my life for the better. That He makes life worth living. For Him I will persevere. To Him I owe the best of everything I can give. He asks nothing of me other than my complete and sincere love and devotion to Him. That is all He wants, He does the rest.
My kids see this lived out in me. Please don't hear this as bragging...or a lack of humility. It's how we live. We mess up A LOT. I mess something up royally at least daily if not more. But my love for my Lord Jesus is evident in the way I live. My kids see it. They know that it's something they don't have to question. When things seem off or bad to them, they pick up on it very easily. Very quickly. Thursday night after the HORRID scene at basketball practice, they overheard Jason and I talking about what happened. They had seen me crying and heard me say that I trust God even though I was upset. I said that I knew He was just trying to show me something about how to treat people. How NOT to treat people. We prayed that night as a family and Jason prayed for me to just be comforted and reassured that God would provide friends for us (he feels the same way I do). We told the kids afterward, for the 4th time this week, that when we are in need, God wants us to tell Him all about it. When we need prayer for something, He prays for us too. He wants to talk to us about our problems and our joys so we should not only tell Him what we're feeling and thinking, but listen to Him for answers and guidance. Then we went to bed and woke up Friday and went about our day as usual...
So I'm sitting today watching Ryan's basketball game. Alone for about 20 minutes while Jas ran to the store for water (forgot to bring it for my very thirsty children). Instantly, as I sat RIGHT beside some of those moms from Thursday, I started feeling defensive. I was thinking to myself, "here we go again. We're gonna play the 'I don't see you' game." But I immediately caught myself and asked the Lord to quiet my spirit and be with me. Jas would be back ANY minute and I'd not feel the need to focus on anything other than Ryan's game. So, he got back and I was fine. Then almost as soon as he sat down, I looked up to see Ryan's teacher wave at me. She came to where we were (right next to all the other moms) and asked if she could sit with me...I know, right?? So I am automatically tearing up that God sent her, and I'm thinking she DOESN'T EVEN KNOW how much this means to me when SHE says..."Ryan requested prayer for you yesterday at school. He said that you were sad at basketball because the other moms were not being your friend and that you cried a lot about it."
My sweet son. Words cannot describe how very PROUD I am that he knew to go to God with his problems. You see, he was burdened for his mother. And I wish you could have seen his face when he saw Mrs. Reyes sitting there beside me. He was BEAMING. And he played really well, making sure she was watching his every move:) I don't know a lot of 6 year old boys who would be so in tune with others' needs. And YES, here I am bragging a little. But not on myself. On God. He has given me a very special little man to raise. I pray that I do my job well. And I must say, he has a WONDERFUL father to teach him how to be a good, Godly man. In fact, I heard him tell Ryan this afternoon, "son, that's what I was talking about, being a man...what you did for your Momma today is what a REAL man does. He takes care of his family. He protects what belongs to him. He prays for people who are hurting. You acted like a man and I'm really proud of you." How awesome is that?? I didn't even know he had been talking to him about what it means to be a man...I mean, he's 6! But I guess it's never too early. Did I mention how awesome my husband is? :)
So, today was amazing for us. So many good things happen in the middle of badness. I fear that if I were to lose my "Attitude of Gratitude" I'd miss a lot of the good and focus WAY too much on the bad. I don't want to do that. I want to leave a legacy of grace and love and goodness. A legacy of thankfulness and loving kindness. Gentle and long suffering. I want to grow my children up to be Peacemakers...and that takes some serious Spirit-led and filled patience and persistence. But ya know what? The Battle belongs to the Lord. He is capable. When I'm weak I'm strong. He teaches me SO much about His love for me through the sweet and simple love of my children.
Thank you, Lord Jesus.
My kids see this lived out in me. Please don't hear this as bragging...or a lack of humility. It's how we live. We mess up A LOT. I mess something up royally at least daily if not more. But my love for my Lord Jesus is evident in the way I live. My kids see it. They know that it's something they don't have to question. When things seem off or bad to them, they pick up on it very easily. Very quickly. Thursday night after the HORRID scene at basketball practice, they overheard Jason and I talking about what happened. They had seen me crying and heard me say that I trust God even though I was upset. I said that I knew He was just trying to show me something about how to treat people. How NOT to treat people. We prayed that night as a family and Jason prayed for me to just be comforted and reassured that God would provide friends for us (he feels the same way I do). We told the kids afterward, for the 4th time this week, that when we are in need, God wants us to tell Him all about it. When we need prayer for something, He prays for us too. He wants to talk to us about our problems and our joys so we should not only tell Him what we're feeling and thinking, but listen to Him for answers and guidance. Then we went to bed and woke up Friday and went about our day as usual...
So I'm sitting today watching Ryan's basketball game. Alone for about 20 minutes while Jas ran to the store for water (forgot to bring it for my very thirsty children). Instantly, as I sat RIGHT beside some of those moms from Thursday, I started feeling defensive. I was thinking to myself, "here we go again. We're gonna play the 'I don't see you' game." But I immediately caught myself and asked the Lord to quiet my spirit and be with me. Jas would be back ANY minute and I'd not feel the need to focus on anything other than Ryan's game. So, he got back and I was fine. Then almost as soon as he sat down, I looked up to see Ryan's teacher wave at me. She came to where we were (right next to all the other moms) and asked if she could sit with me...I know, right?? So I am automatically tearing up that God sent her, and I'm thinking she DOESN'T EVEN KNOW how much this means to me when SHE says..."Ryan requested prayer for you yesterday at school. He said that you were sad at basketball because the other moms were not being your friend and that you cried a lot about it."
My sweet son. Words cannot describe how very PROUD I am that he knew to go to God with his problems. You see, he was burdened for his mother. And I wish you could have seen his face when he saw Mrs. Reyes sitting there beside me. He was BEAMING. And he played really well, making sure she was watching his every move:) I don't know a lot of 6 year old boys who would be so in tune with others' needs. And YES, here I am bragging a little. But not on myself. On God. He has given me a very special little man to raise. I pray that I do my job well. And I must say, he has a WONDERFUL father to teach him how to be a good, Godly man. In fact, I heard him tell Ryan this afternoon, "son, that's what I was talking about, being a man...what you did for your Momma today is what a REAL man does. He takes care of his family. He protects what belongs to him. He prays for people who are hurting. You acted like a man and I'm really proud of you." How awesome is that?? I didn't even know he had been talking to him about what it means to be a man...I mean, he's 6! But I guess it's never too early. Did I mention how awesome my husband is? :)
So, today was amazing for us. So many good things happen in the middle of badness. I fear that if I were to lose my "Attitude of Gratitude" I'd miss a lot of the good and focus WAY too much on the bad. I don't want to do that. I want to leave a legacy of grace and love and goodness. A legacy of thankfulness and loving kindness. Gentle and long suffering. I want to grow my children up to be Peacemakers...and that takes some serious Spirit-led and filled patience and persistence. But ya know what? The Battle belongs to the Lord. He is capable. When I'm weak I'm strong. He teaches me SO much about His love for me through the sweet and simple love of my children.
Thank you, Lord Jesus.
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attitude,
children,
faith,
family,
focus,
friendships,
God,
goodness,
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1 comments
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Don't Even Know
7:23 PM | Posted by
Talisha |
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I don't even know how to express what I experienced today...I kinda felt like I was in Jr. High all over again. It has been nearly 6 months since we moved here. The only people who have reached out to me have been 2 or 3 people that I met at a church we've attended a few times. The church where my kids go to school...the place we spend most of our time outside of home. I attended a Bible study there and met a few very sweet ladies whom I've kept in contact with here and there since.
So tonight, as I sat watching my son's basketball practice, on the opposite side of all the other moms...(I was the first one to walk in and sit down, there was plenty of room where I sat for more people) I felt overwhelmingly ALONE. Normally, I don't notice that no one ever says "hello, how are you?" or "kiss my grits!" I typically sit with my husband, who is now in a late class on basketball nights. I wouldn't normally even CARE. But since I was alone and aware of all of the fellowship taking place opposite me...I REALLY cared. My daughter distracted me from time to time, wanting to shoot hoops in the open court or pass the ball back and forth. But I really couldn't get over the fact that I haven't made any progress in the friend department. I felt almost mad at those moms for not at least trying to speak to me. To find out who I am. Where I came from. Ask me something about my kids...I mean we're obviously ALL here for our children. Each new mom that came in with their kids found a familiar face and fell easily into the conversation of the group.
Of course they did. Of course they know each other. All of their kids go to the same Christian school. They've probably all known each other for years, kids play all their sports together. Why wouldn't they flock and gather? But I couldn't take it. As they laughed and hugged each other, my heart was torn out. I missed MY friends. My eyes started tearing up and I reached for my phone to text my husband and distract myself (and him from his studies). All in the same moment, I was telling myself to just STOP it. This was ridiculous. How could I be mad at people for something they WEREN'T doing on purpose? Why should I expect them to reach out to me? I'M the new one here. (At this point, the moms are staring at me because of the tears streaming down my face.) Maybe I should be more aggressive at making friends. I mean, I have tried several times to make small talk with some of those moms (whom I see every day while taking my children to the same Christian school) to no avail. But maybe I should just give it time. Maybe I look unfriendly. Perhaps they are just shy people? Maybe every morning that I've seen them since August 19th, they've been too tired or something to say "Hi, I'm So and So!" I have introduced myself to at least 50 people since we moved here in August. I've had no trouble going up to people and making small talk or trying to get to know people a little better, but for some reason I have YET to have anyone other than Josh, whom I mentioned in an earlier post, actually introduce themselves to ME.
I just don't get it. Maybe I'm being a total baby and need to just get over myself. Maybe I'm invisible. I don't know. All I know right now is that this doesn't feel very nice. I don't feel welcome. I feel alone when I'm out. I feel like people just aren't doing their part to reach out. I'm also learning that when I see someone alone, I should at LEAST acknowledge and affirm their presence. My face is not an unfamiliar one at the school or at basketball practice. It has been 6 weeks or more of three times a week contact with some of those moms. If I were them, I'm fairly sure that I would have AT LEAST introduced myself to the ONE LONELY mother who sits at her children's practices. No? Well, like I said, maybe I'm too focused on me...I don't know.
I know that I need someone to share my thoughts and feelings with. I know that I need another woman to help me navigate all of the things that are going on in my life right now. I know that I would LOVE to ask someone to pray for me. Woman to woman. To pray for me to have GRACE and strength to care for my handicapped Mother-in-law and PATIENCE for dealing with a recovering drug addict for a Father-in-law. To LIFT ME UP because I live with these people right now. To please pray for my family, my husband needs to find a job...we have no income and he's trying DESPERATELY to answer his calling to ministry and finish his Master's degree in Seminary. I want to share with someone how the Lord is GOOD to us even though we walk DAILY through struggles. I NEED someone to WANT to know that my kids are AWESOME and that my husband ROCKS....blehh...I'm exhausted.
Today is over and I've learned how NOT to treat people. Again. God, please open my eyes to the needs of those around me. PLEASE give me the sensitivity to recognize when someone is hurting or alone.
I know that I need someone to share my thoughts and feelings with. I know that I need another woman to help me navigate all of the things that are going on in my life right now. I know that I would LOVE to ask someone to pray for me. Woman to woman. To pray for me to have GRACE and strength to care for my handicapped Mother-in-law and PATIENCE for dealing with a recovering drug addict for a Father-in-law. To LIFT ME UP because I live with these people right now. To please pray for my family, my husband needs to find a job...we have no income and he's trying DESPERATELY to answer his calling to ministry and finish his Master's degree in Seminary. I want to share with someone how the Lord is GOOD to us even though we walk DAILY through struggles. I NEED someone to WANT to know that my kids are AWESOME and that my husband ROCKS....blehh...I'm exhausted.
Today is over and I've learned how NOT to treat people. Again. God, please open my eyes to the needs of those around me. PLEASE give me the sensitivity to recognize when someone is hurting or alone.
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